Rebirth.
To begin the chapter I will never finish. I decided to resurrect these grounds to experience the freedom of sharing whatever the fuck is on my mind.
Accept that some days you’re the pigeon and most days you will be the statue.
If only it weren’t a matter of false accusations and to portray a sense of doubt, or a lack of trust. The only thing this boy needs is reassurance, closure and a heart filled with dedication.
I know I’m not the best at what I do. I know I’m not the brightest at times. I know I’m not one to turn heads. I know I don’t have the assets or qualities of the medias portrayed perfect boy. I’m not tall, I’m not thin, I’m not fit. I’m not the clean cut, suave heart throb with the six pack or the too die for arms. My eyes aren’t blue, my hair isn’t soft and I’m definitely no fucking dream boat. But the one thing I have is a fucking heart.
No meat head with a six pack, or set of blue eyes, nor the greatest looking man of all could outweigh the power of devotion that lies within these walls of flesh, blood, and tears. Nor could his strength destroy the power of love this heart possesses.
If I were to tell you, that we held hands? Would you turn a blind eye to this?
If I told you we got drunk and danced the night away? Would this lead you astray?
If I told you my hand and body crossed uncomfortable borders, would this be your minds greatest horror?
This is darkness…
If I were to show you, how we held hands? Would this bring your eyes to tears?
If I showed you how we got drunk and danced the night away? Would this lead your eyes astray?
If I showed you my hand and how my body crossed uncomfortable borders, would this be enough to be your mind and bodies greatest horror?
This, is Hell.
If I were to leave these moments for someone to share with you, would this bother you? If not for a minute? An hour? A day? A week? A whole month? A whole lifetime?
If you felt the need to dig deeper but to answer questions you dare not ask to find all of what was spoken too all but the more real and what you would have never thought? Would this reality and demise break your being, break your heart?
Would it hurt if I told you that these moments, these actions, these feelings, these shared events were with a girl, who was not you?
What if I were to suspend these moments in time, embed them within eternity? Capture the illicit moment within an image to remember these moments by, and to hold onto? Would this devour your heart and tear the life you have created from within? Rip apart your soul like the monster it has become? Cast shadows on what you hoped would be the burning feeling of compassion and devotion inside?
Would it kill you too see, that even with a friend, so much pain can be dealt, so much agony can be spread. The darkness dampens the heart and soul, casts shadows on the love you had felt and the dreams once had. Until a new light is born, the understanding of the wrong. The pure desire, the dedication somehow just can’t outweigh this darkness, these shadows, this pure feeling of pain.
This boys heart would never do this to someone as deserving as you. However as we stand now, lead astray, to easily to believe that this world around this boy has fallen to pieces because it’s as if this boys heart was not enough to hold you back, defend the compassion and integrity of love an lust or allow for your direction of thought to be based on the love this boy has to offer.
The pain dealt to the middle of this boys heart from the lack of loves integrity. Loves overwhelming devotion. Loves pure dedication. Loves desire to beat with one heart alike. One heart in the same tune, the same pace, the same rhythm. One heart to share it’s story with for many sunsets and new dawns to come. The pain dealt to the middle of this boys heart has now become a cry to be saved from the hell it has been sentenced too.
Dedication, the fight for what you believe is right and fair, all in the war of love. I think this battle has become lost cause, but the battle of love that has been brought upon this boy, will be something that drags him through the depths of hell for he will not let go.
You’ll never really find those perfect words, something more than just, goodbye. It’s hard to remember the good times when there’s just so much heartache, and they deserve more than that. They deserve more than just one single moment of sadness. So just remember. That when there’s enough love in our hearts it burns like a fucking supernova, then there’s sure as hell enough love in our heart to smile that famous smile. We all lose someone at some point in our lives, but don’t ever let go of that smile, Hold on forever. Because that’s our final dedication.
- Ben Bruce
Asking Alexandria
The image of fallacy burnt into these eyes through betrayal and a lack of dedication has destroyed said famous smile. The hounds of discord will cry through the night to alleviate and remedy the devoured heart and tortured soul. For these hounds will not rest until this heart has reached slumber, for this pain and suffering seeks permanent rest through the break of dawn and through eternal sunrise. This hearts desire, is to share no more.
To this boy we say goodnight, and hope that one day he will become a man and in the man, a woman will see the happiness to be shared. Explored. Given. The dedication. Devotion. The passion, the desire, it will be so powerful… Lust will die.
Posted August 24, 2011 at 5:56pm
